Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
