the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
