I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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