If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
