how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize