I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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