i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
