Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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