he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My vagina just recognized that song.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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