is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
