PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
