someone get that fucking seahorse.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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