a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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