She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
