did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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