I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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