so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
