my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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