shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
