Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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