did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
