Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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