Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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