the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
