tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
