I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
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She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
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Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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