i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
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Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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