I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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