I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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