They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
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He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd