i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off