You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
