i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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