Reggie can tackle my bush.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
