cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
