Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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