Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
