Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
