i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I need water and some morals
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize