Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
