Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
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We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
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If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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