I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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