my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
