I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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