Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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