The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
