great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
