just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
