I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
