they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
