I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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