Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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