I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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