I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My cat gives me a boner
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
