Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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