Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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