will power is for people who don't want to get laid
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You are a genius and a whore.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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