I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
