I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she peed on how many people?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
