There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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