operation have a gay friend backfired
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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