Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
