Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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