Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize